Master

So the other day the Houston Association of realtors announced that the words “master bedroom and master bathroom” will no longer be used in their listings as the word “master” has fallen out of favor due to its association with slavery.

Got me to thinking about what I had about the house that is associated with slavery.  Sure enough, sad to say, I have a MasterLock hanging on my side gate.  It requires a key dangling on a clanking key chain to use to unlock that old device.  But, I also have a MasterLock combination locker:  I began using one back in high school, you know, when we were allowed to have lockers, before woke kids started storing their dope or guns in them.   I guess a trip to Lowe’s for a Medeco, or a BenjiLock is in order.  Wait, a Benji lock?  The name of a dog?  (Dogs, masters, slaves… get it?)

Oh, in the kitchen is a MasterChef pressure cooker!  I cannot even begin to think of how insensitive that is to have a “master chef!”  Now, does not that conjure up an association with slavery! 

But wait, there is more!  I just thought of some more associations with “master:” Postmaster, webmaster, spymaster, headmaster, and my favorite, paymaster! 

I digress:  When I was in the Army, on payday, the paymaster (who was a black drill sergeant in our unit) screamed out our last names and we ran to the table, stood at attention, trembling in fear and were then required to sign for our money and then forced to say “thank you” for our inadequate pay!  (Teaching gratitude, I guess!)   

Tired of this?  Sorry, I have more:  Scoutmaster, toastmaster, taskmaster, ringmaster… now there is a good one.  The dreaded circus ringmaster.  Could there be any worse human, a symbol of subjection and oppression, his bullwhip flailing about toward animals resulting in a vicious snap at the end as the tip of the leather goes sonic!  Conjures up brutal slave imagery doesn’t it!  NO MORE RINGMASTERS!  (No more bullwhips!)

Thought about what Syme said to Winston, both of whom were talking in the canteen: “We’re destroying words –scores of them, hundreds of them every day.  We’re cutting the language down to the bone… it’s a beautiful thing, the destruction of words.”  “You haven’t a real appreciation of Newspeak, Winston… even when you write it, you’re still thinking in Oldspeak.”  (George Orwell “1984”)

Got me to thinking:   What about the word Whoremaster?  I think it is time to just use the name it really is:  Pimp!