Going Stir Crazy: It’s not a political thing. We are all into this together because the
rules and regulations concerning the Corona virus are having an affect on all of
us. The schools are closed (Spring Break
isn’t, apparently!), tele-schooling is the new thing (except for those who have been
taking on-line classes for years), as well as teleworking, teleconferencing,
telemedicine, telemarketing (can you say SPAM calls), and teleworshipping (I
think we can discount Jim Baker and Tami Faye back in the day!).
Two weeks ago, the DOW was over
29,000: today in the 19,000s! Covid-panic'd stock market! People sell
low and buy high… isn’t it supposed to be the other way around? I just peeked at my 401k, a, b, c… whatever;
oh, it is a “paper loss!”they say. Thank goodness for that kind of paper; at least no one is hoarding it! I wish car dealers would sell their new rides
low and buy used ones high! Maybe a new
business model!
Handshaking is now over, and some
dope wants you to whack your elbows together so your crazy bones will buzz. Let’s see… we could use the “Namaste bow;”
the Tibetan “show me your tongue;” or the one I like, the Chinese greeting
(hopefully, this isn’t racist!) where you double up your right fist and put
your open left palm above it, representing the “yin and yang” of life. Just don’t wag your gun finger in an uncontrolled
manner; you might get arrested for flesh violence.
The toilet paper saga is getting
old: the other day I was behind a guy
who had three 8-rolls of some brand of TP encased in a purple wrapper and a
bottle of wine. I tried to figure out if
the two went together. (Hey, I bet you
wish you had the rolls of toilet paper that your kid used to TP the house of
his buddy back on your shelf, that way you wouldn’t have to hoard all that
tissue so your neighbor has none. I
know, you don’t care.)
Speaking of that, I needed
something from Target; I hardly ever go there because if I needed to use the
bathroom, I’m not sure which one is acceptable for me to use. I hate being politically incorrect; I always
get crap for that. But I digress… So, I
thought I’d go back to the cleaning products aisle and see if there were any bottom-cleaning
products: Sure enough, not a single roll
left! The shelves were bare… except for
a two pack roll of “Bounty Prints: The Quicker
Picker Upper.” PS: Stop calling 911 when
you can’t find toilet paper on the shelf!
Get creative… share with a friend.
Yesterday evening I went to In-N-Out
Burger for my 800 calories: I added it
up and it was over 850 and I hadn’t ordered a drink! The seat police wouldn’t let me sit down; she
was cute, in her Burger outfit, but the swinging dirty dish rag which she held
menacing toward me made me think twice about pushing past her. Social distancing: no seating allowed in the restaurant,
but I could carry out or order from the Tacoma and hang outside.
I just bought a six-foot leash to
walk my dog; I have heard that dogs and cats can’t pass the Corona virus on to
humans, which is good news. But the
length of the leash is a passive yardstick: I’ll know how far to stay away from all the people
clogging the sidewalks out walking, allegedly getting fresh air! You know they are out walking because they
are bored! I’ve been walking my dog for
ten years and the only time I’ve seen so many people out is when they are
accompanying their kids, trick-or-treating at Halloween!
I went to Costco a bit ago to get
a chicken salad at the food court; Mickey loves to go to Costco for bits of chicken
and “love!” Whoa… the food court is only
selling hotdogs and pizza! There was
only one guy buying at the window, when normally it would be standing-room-only! There are
signs posted over the other choices saying, “Unavailable.” Turns out it is “unavailable” because they
are limiting choices to limit people! And nowhere to sit! The big sign at the entrance listed all the things unavailable,
including toilet paper, dry dog food and Vitamin C, as a food hosts squirts an unknown chemical on the shopping cart handles. But there she was, the chic in the white
Mercedes SUV with cases and cases of water!
She had two Costco workers loading that thing to the brim… no social
distancing there! What happened to concern
over plastics… or for that matter, what’s wrong with “tap water?”
How many more days till the self-quarantine
is over? Eleven? This is going to get interesting!
